Fed up and had enough

My DD No1 is now just over 12 and hit puberty with a vengance. That's ok, I can understand that. She's angry, hormonal and doesn't know what's happening to her or why. (and yes, she's had 'the talks' both from me, her grandmother who she is close to and from school so she knows the theory of what's happening).

What I'm really finding hard to cope with is the sheer nastiness to her sister, the cat, us.... in fact almost anyone she comes into contact with. It doesn't matter what you've done, sometimes just breathing in her vicinity is enough to set her off.

Sunday she asked me why she had to do anything Robin told her to as he's not her "real father"... I did point out that he was much better than her real father given that the last time she'd seen him he'd beaten her black and blue (I still have photos to prove it). I also pointed out that he didn't have to have taken her on when he met me - many men wouldn't, that he loved her, did stuff for her and generally spoiled her..... not sure that any of it made any difference really.

Yesterday afternoon when she got in from school Robin asked her to do the washing up. She went off on one, the usual "Why do I have to, why can't she do it" tirade. I don't really know what else she said, but I had Robin on the phone at work hopping mad. He was all for sending her back to her father's so he could put up with the rudeness, being spoken to like dirt and the filthy looks. I've never heard Robin so mad in all the time I've known him. Needless to say, I left the office and headed home pronto.

I managed to stay calm and not shout at her when I got in and had a long chat with her. She feels that we don't love her etc, we pick on her, Robin doesn't do stuff - play games, take them out etc any more (hello, he's ill!) she's asked to do too much about the home and so on..... probably normal stuff for someone her age but there's an undercurrent of nastiness and an edge to it all.

On top of which I find out this morning that DD1's been talking to her sister who's told Robin that she (DD1) doesn't like him, never has and would rather he wasn't here..... despite saying she really liked him when I asked as we got together and again when we were due to get married. I can only begin to imaine the hurt that Robin's feeling about this, if it were me in his situation I'd be devastated. DD2 was really sweet though and said that she loved him and it didn't matter what DD1 was like she'd be there for him.

So now I hate going home, I'm depressed at work and all I really want to do is hide under the duvet and pretend it's not happening... that or knit!