Now, after three years of studying Comparative World Religion at University, I thought I knew a bit about religon... but today I see that the Diocese of Northern Michigan has just appointed an Anglican Buddist Bishop.
Don't get me wrong... I've no problem with either religion, I just can't work out how you can be Anglican (Christian) and Buddist? I thought they were mutually exclusive kind of like oil and water? Perhaps I'm wrong and one of you can enighten me...here's hoping!
Wednesday, 25 February 2009
Thursday, 5 February 2009
Depression's good for the writing!
As some of you will know, I've been a bit fed up recently. I'm feeling a bit better this week - had a good chat with HR about the job I didn't get and came out of the meeting feeling far more positive about things, and having doubled the dosage on my tablets I'm feelling a bit better on that front too.
The nagging pain in my side has gone today which is lovely and makes a change. I was really starting to get fed up with that!
It's been a while since I shared any writing with you and while going through some files looking for something else I came across this, which I wrote when I was really down a while ago and seemed kind of appropriate to share:
Retrograde Step
Wrapping itself around me
I feel its cold tendrils worm their way to my core.
Suddenly the whole purpose of life is gone and everything is a chore.
A friendly smile brings floods of tears,
A pat on the back, a quivering lip.
Slowly, surely the clouds slip over the sun.
And yet there is a consolation to all this,
It’s a place I’ve been before.
It knows me.
Like a life-long comforter,
only instead of uplifting,
reassuring like a
much loved teddy bear,
It drains, depletes me
Saps me, debilitates
Depression is at home once more.
The nagging pain in my side has gone today which is lovely and makes a change. I was really starting to get fed up with that!
It's been a while since I shared any writing with you and while going through some files looking for something else I came across this, which I wrote when I was really down a while ago and seemed kind of appropriate to share:
Retrograde Step
Wrapping itself around me
I feel its cold tendrils worm their way to my core.
Suddenly the whole purpose of life is gone and everything is a chore.
A friendly smile brings floods of tears,
A pat on the back, a quivering lip.
Slowly, surely the clouds slip over the sun.
And yet there is a consolation to all this,
It’s a place I’ve been before.
It knows me.
Like a life-long comforter,
only instead of uplifting,
reassuring like a
much loved teddy bear,
It drains, depletes me
Saps me, debilitates
Depression is at home once more.
Wednesday, 28 January 2009
Feeling better - nearly
Ok, so I'm feeling a bit better today. I went home and DD1 was, if not being nice, at least staying out of everyone's way, so the evening was fairly quiet.
Had a good natter with a friend on the phone which cheered me up immensly and hopefully I can return the favour at some point, ate chocolate and cried on DH. And woke up this morning feeling not quite right but no where near as bad as yesterday which is good.
On a more fun note, I was surfing the net (as you do) and found this, all about customer complaint letters.... gave me a smile or two and I hope it does for you too.
Had a good natter with a friend on the phone which cheered me up immensly and hopefully I can return the favour at some point, ate chocolate and cried on DH. And woke up this morning feeling not quite right but no where near as bad as yesterday which is good.
On a more fun note, I was surfing the net (as you do) and found this, all about customer complaint letters.... gave me a smile or two and I hope it does for you too.
Tuesday, 27 January 2009
Fed up and had enough
My DD No1 is now just over 12 and hit puberty with a vengance. That's ok, I can understand that. She's angry, hormonal and doesn't know what's happening to her or why. (and yes, she's had 'the talks' both from me, her grandmother who she is close to and from school so she knows the theory of what's happening).
What I'm really finding hard to cope with is the sheer nastiness to her sister, the cat, us.... in fact almost anyone she comes into contact with. It doesn't matter what you've done, sometimes just breathing in her vicinity is enough to set her off.
Sunday she asked me why she had to do anything Robin told her to as he's not her "real father"... I did point out that he was much better than her real father given that the last time she'd seen him he'd beaten her black and blue (I still have photos to prove it). I also pointed out that he didn't have to have taken her on when he met me - many men wouldn't, that he loved her, did stuff for her and generally spoiled her..... not sure that any of it made any difference really.
Yesterday afternoon when she got in from school Robin asked her to do the washing up. She went off on one, the usual "Why do I have to, why can't she do it" tirade. I don't really know what else she said, but I had Robin on the phone at work hopping mad. He was all for sending her back to her father's so he could put up with the rudeness, being spoken to like dirt and the filthy looks. I've never heard Robin so mad in all the time I've known him. Needless to say, I left the office and headed home pronto.
I managed to stay calm and not shout at her when I got in and had a long chat with her. She feels that we don't love her etc, we pick on her, Robin doesn't do stuff - play games, take them out etc any more (hello, he's ill!) she's asked to do too much about the home and so on..... probably normal stuff for someone her age but there's an undercurrent of nastiness and an edge to it all.
On top of which I find out this morning that DD1's been talking to her sister who's told Robin that she (DD1) doesn't like him, never has and would rather he wasn't here..... despite saying she really liked him when I asked as we got together and again when we were due to get married. I can only begin to imaine the hurt that Robin's feeling about this, if it were me in his situation I'd be devastated. DD2 was really sweet though and said that she loved him and it didn't matter what DD1 was like she'd be there for him.
So now I hate going home, I'm depressed at work and all I really want to do is hide under the duvet and pretend it's not happening... that or knit!
What I'm really finding hard to cope with is the sheer nastiness to her sister, the cat, us.... in fact almost anyone she comes into contact with. It doesn't matter what you've done, sometimes just breathing in her vicinity is enough to set her off.
Sunday she asked me why she had to do anything Robin told her to as he's not her "real father"... I did point out that he was much better than her real father given that the last time she'd seen him he'd beaten her black and blue (I still have photos to prove it). I also pointed out that he didn't have to have taken her on when he met me - many men wouldn't, that he loved her, did stuff for her and generally spoiled her..... not sure that any of it made any difference really.
Yesterday afternoon when she got in from school Robin asked her to do the washing up. She went off on one, the usual "Why do I have to, why can't she do it" tirade. I don't really know what else she said, but I had Robin on the phone at work hopping mad. He was all for sending her back to her father's so he could put up with the rudeness, being spoken to like dirt and the filthy looks. I've never heard Robin so mad in all the time I've known him. Needless to say, I left the office and headed home pronto.
I managed to stay calm and not shout at her when I got in and had a long chat with her. She feels that we don't love her etc, we pick on her, Robin doesn't do stuff - play games, take them out etc any more (hello, he's ill!) she's asked to do too much about the home and so on..... probably normal stuff for someone her age but there's an undercurrent of nastiness and an edge to it all.
On top of which I find out this morning that DD1's been talking to her sister who's told Robin that she (DD1) doesn't like him, never has and would rather he wasn't here..... despite saying she really liked him when I asked as we got together and again when we were due to get married. I can only begin to imaine the hurt that Robin's feeling about this, if it were me in his situation I'd be devastated. DD2 was really sweet though and said that she loved him and it didn't matter what DD1 was like she'd be there for him.
So now I hate going home, I'm depressed at work and all I really want to do is hide under the duvet and pretend it's not happening... that or knit!
Saturday, 3 January 2009
What did you get for Christmas
me, I got flu :(
I started feeling rough on the Thursday before Christmas and other than a brief rally yesterday I've been feeling like death warmed up all Christmas.
I had two weeks off work, planned to do stuff with the girls for Christmas and then things about the house in the first break of any substance I've had for about a year now. Instead I've been hot and cold, coughing, sore throat and headache - the whole works. Yesterday I thought I'd turned a corner and was on the way up, today I feel like I've been run over by a bus.
To say I'm frustrated is an understatement, but I feel most sorry for my girls. You see, not only have I had it but hubby who's already not that well has had it too. So there's been no family fun and games or anything like that, they've pretty much had to fend for themselves to be honest. I know there's next Christmas but that seems rather a long time away at the moment. Perhaps I'll be able to take some time off in Feburay half term and we can do something interesting then.
I hope all of you reading this have had a much better Christmas and New Year that I have and I wish you all every blessing for this year ahead.
I started feeling rough on the Thursday before Christmas and other than a brief rally yesterday I've been feeling like death warmed up all Christmas.
I had two weeks off work, planned to do stuff with the girls for Christmas and then things about the house in the first break of any substance I've had for about a year now. Instead I've been hot and cold, coughing, sore throat and headache - the whole works. Yesterday I thought I'd turned a corner and was on the way up, today I feel like I've been run over by a bus.
To say I'm frustrated is an understatement, but I feel most sorry for my girls. You see, not only have I had it but hubby who's already not that well has had it too. So there's been no family fun and games or anything like that, they've pretty much had to fend for themselves to be honest. I know there's next Christmas but that seems rather a long time away at the moment. Perhaps I'll be able to take some time off in Feburay half term and we can do something interesting then.
I hope all of you reading this have had a much better Christmas and New Year that I have and I wish you all every blessing for this year ahead.
Tuesday, 23 December 2008
Are we nearly there yet?
Christmas is coming and the goose is getting fat as they say and we've just about reached the stage of being ready for Christmas and being able to settle down to enjoy the festivities. We're off out tonight for the last bits of food and then we can come home and hole up. Tomorrow we can spend the day wrapping presents to put under the tree.
What I'm really looking forward to is the nine lessons and carols service at church. This year it's being held on Christmas Eve for the first time which is really good. I always find that it sets the scene for Christmas and brings home the real meaning for the season. All I need to do now is prepare the prayers which I'm leading....best get my finger out with that then.
What I'm really looking forward to is the nine lessons and carols service at church. This year it's being held on Christmas Eve for the first time which is really good. I always find that it sets the scene for Christmas and brings home the real meaning for the season. All I need to do now is prepare the prayers which I'm leading....best get my finger out with that then.
Sunday, 21 December 2008
Why is it...
that the day before I'm due to finish work for the Christmas holiday I come down with laryngitis? It's not the first time this has happened - the year before last I had the flu over Christmas... I mean, there's loads to be done, our house still hasn't recovered from the new boiler going in and then with the garage being burgled we had an influx of boxes which had been stored in the garage move into the dining room....
Robin's still not up to much, I've spent most of the last couple of days asleep, in bed or sitting pathetically on the sofa when my intention was that I would use this two weeks off to go through the house like a whirlwind and sort it out from top to bottom so that it was all clean and tidy ready for the new year. As it is, we're going to be lucky if we can get to the dining table for Christmas dinner...
Still, I shouldn't complain, we do at least have a roof over our head and food to eat. We had a visit at church recently from an organisation called Compassion who enable sponsorship of children in third world countries to give them education and food etc. It's a really good worthwhile scheme, although I'm leaning more to Tearfund because more of the money goes to the child rather than scheme admin although you don't sponsor a child individually with them. (Other similar schemes are done by Worldvision and Plan - UK , ActionAid and SOS Children for those who are interested.) But just reading about what those children go through on a daily basis puts everything into perspective and makes you realise just how lucky you are. Ok so I've not won the lottery, I don't have a mansion and drive a flash car... but I'm loved, cared for, have plenty to eat and drink and don't have to walk miles to get it. Neither do we have to worry about rains which wash meagre crops away or invading armies who raze villages to the ground... all in all, actually, I'm really rather blessed... and hopefully the cold etc will be gone by Christmas day!
Robin's still not up to much, I've spent most of the last couple of days asleep, in bed or sitting pathetically on the sofa when my intention was that I would use this two weeks off to go through the house like a whirlwind and sort it out from top to bottom so that it was all clean and tidy ready for the new year. As it is, we're going to be lucky if we can get to the dining table for Christmas dinner...
Still, I shouldn't complain, we do at least have a roof over our head and food to eat. We had a visit at church recently from an organisation called Compassion who enable sponsorship of children in third world countries to give them education and food etc. It's a really good worthwhile scheme, although I'm leaning more to Tearfund because more of the money goes to the child rather than scheme admin although you don't sponsor a child individually with them. (Other similar schemes are done by Worldvision and Plan - UK , ActionAid and SOS Children for those who are interested.) But just reading about what those children go through on a daily basis puts everything into perspective and makes you realise just how lucky you are. Ok so I've not won the lottery, I don't have a mansion and drive a flash car... but I'm loved, cared for, have plenty to eat and drink and don't have to walk miles to get it. Neither do we have to worry about rains which wash meagre crops away or invading armies who raze villages to the ground... all in all, actually, I'm really rather blessed... and hopefully the cold etc will be gone by Christmas day!
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